Phew, I don’t know how my mom entertained all those people for all those years.  I’m TIRED.  Halfway through today I wanted to take a nap and hide but alas, could not. 

All that exhaustion was worth it, however.  We all had a great Christmas.  Yesterday we had an early dinner of delicious filet mignon (from Fresh Market - highly recommend their meat - it’s never been anything other than awesome), twice-baked potatoes and salad. 

After we hit the last few houses on the tacky light tour, laid out cookies for Santa, opened a few presents, and sent the girls to bed.  Mike made his new tradition - Stingers, a drink from my dad’s previous life as a fighter pilot.  It’s Brandy and Creme de Menthe, and according to my mom, it makes people “mean” when they drink it.  According to Mike, it just make people drunk when they drink it. 

We then wrapped the last remaining gifts and watched an uplifiting documentary on Hitler’s genocide (it was part of the World at War series we had bought for my dad).  Nothing like interviews with concentration camp victims to lift your spirits. 

The girls managed to stay in bed til 7, so after some spazzing, we sicked them on the presents.  The big hits were the dolls my dad bought them - very large Alexander Girls dolls, one with brown hair and eyes like Lily, one with blond hair and blue eyes like Arden.  They thought they were awesome.  They loved their princesses and ponies from my sister and Lily got a Razor scooter.  We had a little bit of downtime before heading to our neighbor’s house.  They had invited us for appetizers, so we hung out there for a couple of hours and let the girls destroy their house while we ate their food. 

Around 3, Mike’s sister and her family showed up, and we had another round of gifts. Arden and Lily got matching tutus from Christine, and Arden will be wearing hers constantly from now on. 

The weather here was gorgeous - warm and sunny - so we all headed out and played football.  Arden and Lily rode their scooters and bikes.  Lily looked especially stellar in her helmet, knee and elbow pads, Christmas dress and tennis shoes:

A wild, loud dinner ensued.  We had the traditional Kimler lasagna and 42 pounds of dessert.  My mom likes to make these chocolate nut “bags” that are made of puff pastry, then drizzled with a fresh raspberry sauce.  They are delish, but we realized that instead of puff pastry, we had bought phyllo dough.  Ooops!  I figured, how hard can it be to make puff pastry from scratch?  Turns out, not that hard.  So I did a little internet research and found a recipe that received good reviews.  I whipped some butter, flour and sour cream together, chilled it, and voila.  With a little help from Voz’s mom (she’s an expert dough-roller), we made the puff pastry bags and they were really good.  Christine had made a chocolate cake from scratch, so we had that too.  (side note - all the weight I’ve lost came back tonight - happy holidays waistline!)

It took about two hours to clean up the kitchen and sunroom, but it was worth it. I’m now going to drink a copious amount of alcohol and pass out.  Merry Christmas everyone.

For the full slideshow:

I finally remembered my camera.  Richmond is known for the tacky lights tour - in fact, the house I photographed last night was featured on a HGTV show about houses that can be seen from outer space (or something like that).  I actually really enjoy the insanity of the tour, but I could do without the whining from the peanut gallery in the backseat.  Truth be told they might be a little young to appreciate the uber-insanity of the tour.

I also added more pictures from our fun gift exhange with the Yeagers in my flickr badge below.  I’ll be putting all my holiday photos there too so keep checking it if you like to look at my kids being dorks.  We had a great time seeing Jennifer, Sophia and Troy before they leave for New York.  The girls loved their gifts (Jenn, Lily is STILL doing the art project you got her, and wanted to sleep with it tonight), and Sophia seemed to enjoy being bossed around by my daughters.  We’re trying to talk them into coming back for New Year’s Eve but I don’t see it happening . . .

It’s been a day.  I’ve mentioned before the upcoming CPSIA legislation and how it’s going to effect small businesses, but until today, the reality of how it is going to effect US didn’t hit. 

First, let me say that I don’t want lead in my children’s toys or my children’s clothes.  That being said, I wholly support a REALISTIC approach to lead testing.  For example, if every single item I use to make a onesie is certified lead-free, I don’t believe I need to test it again on the off-chance that all those items, when sewn together, will suddenly have a party and become lead-filled for the fun of it. 

For those of you who aren’t aware, the legislation was done by some well-meaning politicians in a knee-jerk reaction to all the lead toys coming in from China.  What’s ironic, as one of my friends so eloquently puts it, is that the legislation isn’t going to affect those big corporations who started this mess - companies that mass-produce and can afford to test.  It’s going to affect people like me, and all of our manufacturers.  She says, and I quote: “I can’t even come up with something coherent to say. I just followed the link on your blog and started poking around the interwebs, and here’s what I don’t get. Last year everyone was up in arms about the radioactive lead-filled dogshit toys coming from China, and so the answer is… to put small American manufacturers out of business, thereby leaving only the large companies that outsource their manufacturing to… China? What? Someone jerked their knee in government and this is the polished turd they came up with, sounds like.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

My brief synopsis, though the legislation itself is so complex you need both a Juris Doctor and a Masters in Chemistry with a concentration in Manufacturing to understand it is the following: 

The upcoming CPSIA legislation will require every color and product variation for children to be tested for lead (meaning if you manufacturer a “got boob” onesie in black, red and white, even if all the products you are using are certified, you still have to pay to get it tested three times). Most of our manufacturers do not have the money to comply - each test runs between $250-$1400 depeneding on how many elements are involved. Many will go out of business in August when they are required to furnish the certificates and can’t. However, one thing I didn’t count on was what happens to the inventory we are holding. On Feb 10, 2009, we have to get preliminary certs from everyone we sell.  Those can be from their raw product manufacturers (ie, someone who makes nap mats would get certs from the cotton material manufacturer and the fleece manufacturer). However, all the inventory we are holding may not comply, so we are looking at eating a shload of inventory sitting in my attic. We won’t be allowed, by law, to sell it. Did I mention that cotton has really never been a culprit for lead?  Yeah, doesn’t matter.

And then what happens?  What happens in August when the raw materials certified aren’t enough, and each manufacturer must test every variation of their product? An example from Boutique Cafe goes like this: “To put a real dollar amount to testing one of my products, I solicited a lab quote. I was told it was $75 to test for lead per garment component and each substrate. Coated or painted items such as buttons are $100. So my Little Red Riding Hood Shirt, a 100% cotton knit shirt with an appliqué made from 7 cotton fabrics and 2 buttons eyes would cost $625 to test for lead. Flammability testing is also required and is either $50 for a certificate per component stating it meets weight code or $100 for actual testing. So add another $400-$800 for a grand total of $1,025-$1425. in testing costs for a shirt that retails for $40. If the shirt is offered in another colorway, the same testing is required despite the fact that the same fabrics are used throughout.

CPSIA will be retroactive and takes a guilty-until-proven-innocent approach with extremely hefty fines for violators. As written, any product used by children 12 and under (such as toys, footwear, carpets, clothing, bedding, luggage, lamps, toys, books, magazines, baseball cards, consumer electronics, school supplies, office supplies, jewelry, housewares, sports equipment and so on) without the newly required certification would be deemed hazardous, whether the item poses an actual threat or not. So on February 10, 2009, any unsold merchandise (in big box stores, the corner boutique, your fabric stash, Good Will donations, etc.) will be deemed “hazardous goods” and illegal to sell unless 3rd party testing proves otherwise. By the way, there are only 14 said labs currently in the United States.”

For those manufacturers that do survive, who do you think will pay for the outrageous fees?  You will - the consumer. 

For my small little group of nap mat and onesie manufacturers, we are trying to band together an a.) figure out what the law is really saying and b.) survive.  Here’s what you can do to educate yourself and support amending this law (thanks BoutiqueCafe.com for the list):

What can you do?
1) Email or call the CPSIA - the office of the CPSC ombudsman 888-531-9070.
http://www.cpsc.gov/cgibin/newleg.aspx
Comments on Component Parts Testing accepted through January 30, 2009.
mailto:Sec102ComponentPartsTesting@cpsc.gov.

2) Email or snail mail your representatives.
http://capwiz.com/americanapparel/issues/alert/?alertid=12274476

3) Call your representatives. For their contact information just enter your zip code.
http://capwiz.com/americanapparel/dbq/officials/

4) Make your voice heard by voting on this issue. The top 3 in each category will be presented to President-elect Obama.
http://www.change.org/ideas/view/save_handmade_toys_from_the_cpsia

5) Sign the petition.
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/economicimpactsofCPSIA/index.html

6) Spread the word! Write about this on your blog. Tell others about this issue and encourage them to do the same.

7) Join others in fighting this cause.
http://cpsia-central.ning.com/notes/Notes_Home

Join the etsy community in the virtual chat with CPSIA Small Business Ombudsmen or send a handmade children’s item that will become “hazardous goods” as of 2/9/09 to Bobby Rush, founder of H.R. 4040.
http://www.etsy.com/storque/craftivism/handmade-childrens-items-unintended-consequences-consumer-pr-3056/

And let’s all hope that enough people make enough noise to get a second, more thoughtful look at this problem. 

I know I’ve griped about my Stepford neighborhood before.  It’s a little scary - when one person puts up something fashionable, it’s worse than high school when Uber-Popular Girl wore the first pair of Gasoline Jeans two-tone acid washed jeans and everyone couldn’t get to Prange’s fast enough to buy their copies and have their very own camel-toe.  Only in my neighborhood, it tends to be more subtle.  For example, the epidemic of cobwebs that happens during Halloween.  One person covered her bushes in webs - within 3 days, the entire street looked like a big spider had barfed up a giant white hairball on the prim landscaping.  I rebelled, of course.  Last year the wreath epidemic began, but didn’t come full circle until this year.  It looks something like this (but this picture isn’t of a neighbor’s house, and you have to multiply the wreaths in this picture by like, 100):

Now, literally every house minus about 10% have window wreaths on EVERY AVAILABLE WINDOW.  I’ve never seen so much artificial greenery in one place.  Not to be outdone by each other, the neighbors now are warring over what can be DONE to the window wreaths - like adding lights, candles, giant baubles, and fake fruits.  It looks like a preppy Mardi Gras on my street. 

(In case you are wondering, no, we don’t have window wreaths. I may not wear black lipstick anymore, but I will not conform to the wreath police)

This year, the wreaths have been joined by herds of suburban white lit reindeers.  You must have at least two - some have 4-6.  Always in twos, the reindeer sometimes have moving heads which make them look like the loch ness monster at night.  No, we don’t have white lit reindeers.  But all the neighbors do.

So imagine, if you will, a neighborhood of 20 houses.  Each house has at least 2, if not 4 or more, reindeers on the lawn.  Imagine, if you will, someone deciding to spice things up a bit.  Imagine, if you will, walking your 6 year old to the bus stop and seeing what can only be described as A LOT of reindeer-on-reindeer action.  One of the more unfortunate houses has a reindeer gang-bang going on - one poor doe with 3 bucks mounting her from every direction.  And my neighbor’s looked like this:

Apparently someone either very drunk or very young decided that reindeer porn would be funny, so they made every reindeer in the neighborhood a little more jolly.  I have to agree that it was very, very funny. Juvenile, but funny.  Some of my neighbors are out of town, so their reindeer have stayed in compromising positions and each time I drive by, I howl loudly and obnoxiously.  Perfect. 

**************************
I also volunteered at the Jingle Bell jog today.  It’s basically a

Holiday program at school where the kids wear bells sing, dance, and the teachers perform too.  It was tons of fun.  I would have gotten pictures, but I swear Lily is the midget of the school and is very hard to shoot when she’s buried in a bunch of gangly kids.  The kids performed, and their PE teacher made the Kindergarten and 1st grade teachers dance too.  It was really funny until she made us get up on stage and shake it with them.  How I wished I were Jennifer then, because she has all those dance moves ingrained in her psyche.  I have the rhythm of a brick.  I’m posting some pictures and videos below. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-CbjAoyKa0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUIZ7JND-fg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drVz40_TVZA

If you are reading this, I’m halfway to success with moving hosting companies.  The transition is always rough, which is why I HATE moving hosts.  Don’t worry, the last few days have been backed up and will eventually return for all their time in the sun.  Standby for working email and a funny story about humping reindeer.