Today I got a wild hair up my butt and decided on a whim to take a Spin class. One of my favorite instructors, Kara, was teaching and her class was fairly empty (rare for Spin).  I asked her if I could crash because normally you need a reservation, and she said, in her usual perky way, “Sure, come on it!  It’ll be so FUN!” 

First, I’m pretty intimidated by most of the classes I take at the Y.  I’m chunky but I’m cardiovascularly fit and I can do the advanced level classes fairly well for a 37 year old.  However, most of the people in the advanced classes are either 20ish or extremely model-like 30ish.  There are no people in those classes, normally, that look like they’ve pushed out two or three kiddies and eaten a few too many Blizzards at Dairy Queen.  Except for me.  Most of the regulars have forgotten I’m the one who fell during my first Cardio Box class when I lost my balance or when I rolled OFF the Ball during On the Ball class (is it mean that I was so vindicated when another chunky came to the class and fell off HER ball???). 

Second, Kara is totally ridiculous - in a good way.  She’s got some insane low body fat but she’s curvy and beautiful and she can seriously kick any guy’s butt that comes to her classes.  She’s always in a good mood, plays good music, and is patient with those of us who struggle to keep up but keep on coming back for punishment.  Between Kara’s insanely fit body and the insanely fit people who take her classes, I usually feel like a total freak or idiot anyway, but today was the topper.

Spin Class requires a lot of set up, and because I’d never taken a class before, I had no idea what settings to use on the bike. Kara helped me figure out where the handlebars, seat, and seat height should be, but within 10 seconds my butt was in agony from that very unpadded seat and I felt like I was falling forward into the handlebars.  I also had a lot of trouble getting my feet into those stupid stirrupy things on the pedals.  Kara got the music cranking (I was the only person in the class who correctly identified David Bowie’s “Modern Love” - go me!), and we started peddling. 

About 15 minutes in, I was tired but very proud that I was able to hold my own with the class. I still felt like the seat wasn’t right, so between songs I got off the bike and pushed it back.  Unfortunately when I did that, it made the seat tilt forward, like a slide pointing down toward my toes.  I didn’t have time to mess with it so I sucked it up and got back on the bike.  The pitch of the seat made the “resting” positions (i.e. seated spinning) feel horrible since all the weight was on my forearms to hold me from slipping off the bike.  During one of the sprints, we stood up in our pedals and went as fast as possible.  I apparently missed the tutorial where you are supposed to strap your feet into the stirrups tightly, and my right foot slipped halfway out of the pedal and lodged there.

This misfortune caused me to tilt scarily to the right while my right knee went up in the air and my left knee went out at a nearly 90 degree angle. Picture me like a dead spider crouched in the V of the bike trying frantically to get my feet free to so I could stand up and recover.  It didn’t work.  I ended up with my feet in the stirrups and my hands on the ground, and my butt in the air.  My right ankle is KILLING me now from the angle at which it was bent.  Let me tell you, that was some sexy manuevering.  I could hear the tanned ass next to me giggling.  When I splatted, I made a loud noise and I think I screamed “FALLING!” (apparently I thought I was rock climbing and not in Spin class), so Kara came over to me to try to release me.  Another 3 minutes and she had me, red-faced, back on the bike. 

I managed to finish out the class and stop blushing, but it was incredibly embarassing, especially when half the class wanted to know if I was okay and was this my first time.  Ya think?  Yep. First time. 

I thanked Kara on my way out. She asked me if I had fun, and I said enthusiastically, while trying to control the shake in my fried legs: “Oh, totally!  Can’t wait to do it again!  But next time I won’t disrupt class by falling off my bike.”  I slunk out, my aura of uncoolness competing with the stench of my sweating body for victory.

What’s even more pitiful is that yes, I will do the class again.  Just like I went back to On the Ball and Cardio Box after my mishaps.  Unlike Prenatal Yoga, after my pooting incident. I can’t let my clutzy form keep me from getting fit.  I just wish there were more uncool and uncoordinated people at the Y.